It's OK to Walk Away

Your time is limited and very valuable, so you are constantly making decisions on what is worth your time. However, once we make a choice we often stick with the decision even if it turns out to be worse than anticipated. At the other end of the spectrum are things we don’t give enough time, like my wife controlling the radio where I couldn’t even listen to a full song. I think many of us don’t move on quickly enough and end up sinking more time into something that in hindsight we would’ve liked to leave earlier. I’ll focus on that and hopefully it helps you free up some time.

Finish By Default

From a young age we’ve been taught that we have to complete a task. Finish all the food on your plate. You can’t go play until you finish all your homework. Most of the time it makes sense, but it has become so engrained in our thinking that we default to it even when it doesn’t make sense.

In a way it’s taboo to call it quits before the generally accepted time. But if we want our time back to live our lives, then we’ll need to break the norms.

Sunk Costs And Commitment Bias

Before sharing examples it makes sense to understand two concepts better. Sunk costs are costs which you have already paid and won’t be able to recover. The sunk cost fallacy is idea that you should keep going because you put time/money/energy into it when the better option is to stop. For example, imagine building a house you think it going to cost $500k when you could get one for $600k. You spend $40k on plans and permits, but then a complication comes up and you realize you will need to spend an additional $150k before you can start. At this point you are better off with the $600k option, but you figure you spent $40k and so you should carry on. You aren’t going to get the $40k back, so you should just compare the costs going forward.

Commitment bias is the tendency to stay committed to ideas we had in the past, especially the ones we stated publicly. No one wants to be called a flip flopper, but in light of new data, you can certainly change your mind. In college you may declare a major and then a few classes in realize there is something you are more interested in. However, you already told your family you were going to do computer science and figure you should stick with it.

Examples

I’d argue that in almost any situation you can stop and walk away (maybe not aboard a flight). I’ll share some situations where I’ve walked away and some where I wish I did.

Last year I was interviewing for a new job and it seemed like every company had five rounds to put you through. During one interview with a hiring manager I realized halfway through the interview it wasn’t going to be a good fit. I told the hiring manager I was more interested in doing analysis than data cleansing and that I appreciated the opportunity but it wasn’t going to work out and we could conclude the interview right there. I saved each of us 30 minutes and although he was shocked, he thanked me and said I did well on a prior assessment and would consider me for roles that were more aligned with my interests.

I love sci-fi books. For some reason it seems like they are often a trilogy. I used to feel the need to read all three books if I started the first one. Now if a book isn’t good I’ll quit and don’t feel pressure to finish. All entertainment can be tossed aside at any point. If you start Game of Thrones you aren’t required to watch every season. If you go to a movie you can walk out. In fact, a few months ago I got looped into seeing Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (don’t watch it) and I should’ve left early and went to bed.

The same ideas can be applied to relationships. Even though you have known someone for years if they are bringing you down then it may make sense to move on rather than hanging on. Similarly, I think everyone gets emotionally attached to their home and will stick in it longer than it make sense. That’s a larger topic I’ll address in the future.

Conclusion

Hopefully you feel empowered to walk away when the situation is not longer beneficial. I’ll leave you with a story. Once there was a someone who ate a a buffet, but he stayed too long and ended up feeling so bad he had to the doctor. A buffet is all you can eat, but the reality is that your stomach capacity isn’t unlimited. Similarly, your time isn’t unlimited, so please leave the buffet before you explode.