A Commitment Can Pay Dividends
A commitment is “an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.” Why would we voluntary enter into something which restricts our freedom? Aren’t we trying to relax constraints rather than add more? Most of the time we’d like to loosen our constraints, but constraints can serve to keep us on track. Let’s explore examples and see how commitment can be beneficial or detrimental.
Relationships
In a traditional marriage you make a commitment to one person. In my wedding vows I said, “I vow…to love you and to forsake all others” which limits me to my wife. That’s a pretty big commitment. However, with it I no longer have to spend time looking for a companion. The search is over, a commitment has been made, and we have built a life together. By making a commitment it has indeed restricted my freedom, but it also removed uncertainty. I know who I will be with today, tomorrow, and in the years to come.
A mutual defense treaty allows nations to have each other’s back in case of an attack. It is a big deal to commit your resources and lives to another nation, but in return you have assurances that they will be there for you as well.
The first two were monumental examples of commitment in relationships, but commitment can take all forms including someone taking your side in a work meeting, a friend willing take care of you when you’re sick, and much more. There is a cost to commitment, but there is a wonderful upside to it as well.
Activities
Having a routine can act as a commitment even if you don’t explicitly sign anything. If you have game night Tuesdays, book club Thursdays, and go to the gym at 7AM four times a week then you have a schedule that keeps you fit and entertained. Such a commitment isn’t lifelong and you have the freedom to change your interests, but it does serve to keep you from being one who sits on the couch for hours and scrolls through content and wonders where all your time went. OK, maybe that person is me.
Housing
When you sign a lease you commit to a duration. You have to pay rent each month, but in return you know where you are going to end each day. You don’t have to worry about finding somewhere to sleep every night. You stay dry when it rains, warm when it’s cold, and in control of a small piece of the world.
Now, I don’t recommend jumping into purchasing a home right away, but if you do feel like you’re ready to settle somewhere for a number of years then a home will throw down big roots. Expect to lose money if you sell within a couple years, but the benefits are even more than a lease. You don’t have to worry about not being able to renew when your lease is up. You don’t have to worry about a rent increase (instead it is worse with property tax, HOA, and insurance increase). There are plenty of other worries though and it is a fair amount of work, but the home is yours moreso than a rented property. However, you do greatly restrict your freedom through taking on a big financial burden of a mortgage and many other payments. Maybe you can’t go on as many vacations or eat out as frequently. Personally, it wasn’t until I have lived in many cities and had several jobs that I was ready to take on home ownership, but 7 years later I’m still in the same cities, so it seems like it was the right time to do so.
When To Break Commitments
In today’s age it seems like people don’t want to commit to anything. Optionality is king. When asked if you want to hang out on a particular day, do you agree to it or play by ear in case something better comes up?
To break a commitment isn’t something to take lightly, but life moves fast and you, your situation, and others are constantly changing. Even the world map has changed since you were born. And even a new country will emerge by the end of this decade. Heard of Bougainville? The point is that sometimes your commitments outlive their usefulness. Maybe you are sick of board games and it’s time to quit rather than drag yourself to the dungeon each week. Maybe you and a friend’s interests have gone off in completely different directions and things fizzle out.
In my life, I’ve broken a lease because our life situation changed. I did thoroughly read through the lease though and realized that if I signed another lease with the same company I could forego the hefty lease breaking fee which worked out wonderfully.
Employment is another relationship that’s been broken many times. I’ve left a job to move onto one that offered more stable employment with better pay. I’ve left a job to go to graduate school. I’ve had an employer leave me behind to thin out the company. Sometimes you don’t get to have the final say, but life goes on.
Conclusion
I didn’t want to end on a sad note, so let me say that commitments are constraints that help guide your life. They come in many forms from self-imposed to governmental mandates. Don’t overcommit to the point where your life is so full of constraints that you’re not doing what you want. But don’t have a fear of commitment just because you want to be free. Personally, I think life’s easier when you have at least some certainty. As for this newsletter, you’ll never know when the next one is coming.